An Open Letter to a Certain Parent:

Dear Blissfully-Unaware-Mother-of-the-kid-in-my-son's-Second-Grade-class:

We live in a middle-class school district. Some families are actually below the poverty line. I know for a fact that some of the kids only get two meals a day - breakfast and lunch, both provided by the GB School District. Some families are very well-off; one father drops his child off in his Porsche 911 every morning, which I will add drives me INSANE! This is Wisconsin! WTF are you doing driving that in the winter?!?

I hate to do this, but I feel the need to tell you the following:

1) Your son is in Second Grade. Not a Freshman in High School. Nor is he an Undergrad at Harvard. He does NOT need the best of everything. Especially when the school itself is over 70 years old.

2) Any child that has an Adidas backpack, Ecko Unlimited shoes, and only wears Aeropostale is going to get left out of a lot of things. Especially when he won't play with the other kids lest he get his Ecko Unlimited shoes and Aeropostale sweatshirt dirty.

3) No second grader needs a Mongoose bike. Seriously. I asked my brother and he didn't get his first Mongoose until he was in 7th grade.

4) If your kid is going to park his Mongoose in the bike rack with the other kids' bikes he's going to have to accept the fact that not all kids can afford a Mongoose (although I'm sure the price of one may have changed since 1995 but still) and he WILL have to park said bike next to the VoldeMart Specials and the hand-me-downs.

5) I'm not going to tell my kid to be super-careful around your kid's bike just because he happens to have one of the VoldeMart Specials. Which I will add he's INCREDIBLY proud of.
6) My kid's shoes are from VoldeMart too. Screw you. 7) Yes, while my son was able to attend a very expensive Science Camp this summer, as was your son, my son was able to attend thanks to the love and generosity of his great-grandparents, not because it was something incredibly expensive to prove your love to him. Did I mention that I never see you at any of the fun child-oriented "free" school functions or at Boy Scouts?

8) Luckily we are raising our son to accept everyone for who they are, be they rich or poor, regardless of race, gender or mental ability. He knows that if someone is going to be a jackass that he can just walk away. I have seen him play with your son. I have seen your son seek out MY son to play with on the playground, only to have your son decide he doesn't want to get "dirty." To which my son shrugged his shoulders and said "Ok. Well, if you want to play we'll be over here."

9) My son does not play video games or watch a lot of TV. He is allowed certain times to play his online games and watch cartoons; he loves to be outside. Unlike most children my son has never been interested in the typical video games. Yes, he'll watch his father play the "typical" male video games, but he'd much rather be on the Wisconsin DNR website learning about the habits of our local freshwater fish, or building Weapons of Mass Destruction in the basement with his K*Nex or Legos. So when your kid starts talking about whatever the flock video game he's playing this week and my son has no idea what he's talking about I don't appreciate your son turning his back on my son. Luckily my son just brushes this off and finds another friend to play with.

In closing I'm pretty sure my son will have more friends than yours. Friends that he will have for a lifetime. And that makes me incredibly damn proud of him.

Regards,

The Midget Mom of the Really Cute Blonde Kid with the VoldeMart Bike and the Hand-Me-Down Clothes

I apologize to anyone who may have found this offensive. I know for a fact that this particular person does NOT read my blog, let alone even acknowledge the fact that myself and my son exist. Believe me, we're not up to her standards...