An Open Letter to a Certain Parent:

Dear Blissfully-Unaware-Mother-of-the-kid-in-my-son's-Second-Grade-class:

We live in a middle-class school district. Some families are actually below the poverty line. I know for a fact that some of the kids only get two meals a day - breakfast and lunch, both provided by the GB School District. Some families are very well-off; one father drops his child off in his Porsche 911 every morning, which I will add drives me INSANE! This is Wisconsin! WTF are you doing driving that in the winter?!?

I hate to do this, but I feel the need to tell you the following:

1) Your son is in Second Grade. Not a Freshman in High School. Nor is he an Undergrad at Harvard. He does NOT need the best of everything. Especially when the school itself is over 70 years old.

2) Any child that has an Adidas backpack, Ecko Unlimited shoes, and only wears Aeropostale is going to get left out of a lot of things. Especially when he won't play with the other kids lest he get his Ecko Unlimited shoes and Aeropostale sweatshirt dirty.

3) No second grader needs a Mongoose bike. Seriously. I asked my brother and he didn't get his first Mongoose until he was in 7th grade.

4) If your kid is going to park his Mongoose in the bike rack with the other kids' bikes he's going to have to accept the fact that not all kids can afford a Mongoose (although I'm sure the price of one may have changed since 1995 but still) and he WILL have to park said bike next to the VoldeMart Specials and the hand-me-downs.

5) I'm not going to tell my kid to be super-careful around your kid's bike just because he happens to have one of the VoldeMart Specials. Which I will add he's INCREDIBLY proud of.
6) My kid's shoes are from VoldeMart too. Screw you. 7) Yes, while my son was able to attend a very expensive Science Camp this summer, as was your son, my son was able to attend thanks to the love and generosity of his great-grandparents, not because it was something incredibly expensive to prove your love to him. Did I mention that I never see you at any of the fun child-oriented "free" school functions or at Boy Scouts?

8) Luckily we are raising our son to accept everyone for who they are, be they rich or poor, regardless of race, gender or mental ability. He knows that if someone is going to be a jackass that he can just walk away. I have seen him play with your son. I have seen your son seek out MY son to play with on the playground, only to have your son decide he doesn't want to get "dirty." To which my son shrugged his shoulders and said "Ok. Well, if you want to play we'll be over here."

9) My son does not play video games or watch a lot of TV. He is allowed certain times to play his online games and watch cartoons; he loves to be outside. Unlike most children my son has never been interested in the typical video games. Yes, he'll watch his father play the "typical" male video games, but he'd much rather be on the Wisconsin DNR website learning about the habits of our local freshwater fish, or building Weapons of Mass Destruction in the basement with his K*Nex or Legos. So when your kid starts talking about whatever the flock video game he's playing this week and my son has no idea what he's talking about I don't appreciate your son turning his back on my son. Luckily my son just brushes this off and finds another friend to play with.

In closing I'm pretty sure my son will have more friends than yours. Friends that he will have for a lifetime. And that makes me incredibly damn proud of him.

Regards,

The Midget Mom of the Really Cute Blonde Kid with the VoldeMart Bike and the Hand-Me-Down Clothes

I apologize to anyone who may have found this offensive. I know for a fact that this particular person does NOT read my blog, let alone even acknowledge the fact that myself and my son exist. Believe me, we're not up to her standards...

Your Daily Dose of Vitamin ROCK!!!

Editor's Note: There are lots of links to clickity-click on throughout this post. If you don't want to, don't! If you do, please enjoy!

As I sit and go through some of my older blogs I notice that music plays an important role in my daily life.

This is something I have tried to teach my children as well.

Your day goes by so much easier when music is involved. Household chores get done faster when you've got the stereo on your favorite station or cd.

My kids have always listened to music. They both have favorite cds they listen to at night. Ash listens to "Baby Beatles" and Cole, up until last year, listened to "Lullabies for Little Dreamers." Apparently when you're 6 you don't need music to help you fall asleep anymore. :(

Like I said in my recent post about Unconventional Lullabies, my kids have also been exposed to almost every type of music imaginable. From Classical to Country (not my favorite), Grunge, Rap (again, not another one of my favorites), Classic Rock, Hard Rock, Metal, Hair Bands, you name it, we listen to it.

Well, most of it.

We do have restrictions. Considering the urchins are 7 1/2 & 4 1/2 we don't allow them to listen to the hardcore stuff. They'll have to wait a while to hear mommy's Type O Negative cd. Although it was my OWN mother that bought me the cd...also, please note that this cd got 90% of its play around Halloween.

I know I'm just repeating what I said in the lullaby post but I'm drawing a blank on what to blog about and my guest bloggers *ahem - LADIES!!! * haven't been able to come up with anything. So you're stuck with my music stuff. DEAL WITH IT! ;)

So anywhoo, my children have a wide variety of musical tastes.

Pickles favorite song this week is "Hey There Li'l Red Riding Hood" which has always been one of my favorites. Turns out that Brian Haner, a.k.a. "Guitar Guy" with Jeff Dunham, played with Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. I love Brian Haner. He's also the father of Synyster Gates, lead guitarist for Avenged Sevenfold!

Bubba's is Dropkick Murphys "Shipping Up to Boston." I personally REALLY like this one. He also begs to listen to Paul Revere and the Raiders "Kicks" and "Stepping Stone" over and over again.

I was raised listening to the bands of the 60's and 70's My parents have always been into concerts; my dad was lucky enough to see The Who in the 70's, my mom got to see fat Elvis. When I was younger my parents took us to the Brown County Fair. We were watching the bands play when all of a sudden they announced the headliner. I have no idea if my parents knew which band was headlining that night but I wound up seeing REO Speedwagon! When I turned 21 I got to see Alice Cooper. Alice is awesome.

I know my mother-in-law loves music too. She's been buying my kids their own cds since they day they were born. Not too many people can say they've danced with their mother-in-law to Violent Femmes! She also listens to the great folk singers like Neil Young (my husband's favorite) as well as Led Zeppelin.


I was born knowing all of the words to Cheap Trick Live at Budokan. Believe me, I was shocked when one day when I was 15 "Big Eyes" played on the radio and I knew the words. I called my mom and said "Why in the HELL do I know the words to this?!?" She nonchalantly responded with "Oh. I listened to Live at Budokan the entire time I was pregnant with you. You probably know all of The Cars music too...."

Nice one mom.

My best friends and I, mainly Nerma, while agreeing that NKOTB was SO COOL and someday she'll marry Jordan Knight and I'll marry Donny Wahlberg and we'll live in a MANSION TOGETHER!!!!, had very different music tastes. Nerma was into Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Taylor Dayne, while I was into Poison, GnR, Motley Crue, John COUGAR Mellencamp. Yet as we got older we started to get into the same music again. I'll never forget the summer of Wanda Chrome and STP...

It doesn't hurt that bands like The BoDeans, Annex (this video was filmed at East High in GB), Violent Femmes, Farenheit 420, as well as guitar guru Les Paul all hail from Wisconsin...

Sunday WTFs.

I don't go to church very often.


*Gasp!*


I know. Whatever. After spending 6 years as the being one of only two non-Catholic kids in my Catholic school (my brother being the other non-Catholic) and spending my weekends going to our Methodist church/Sunday School I had pretty much had enough.


And I was only 10 years old.


That and my family didn't like the new minister at our church.


All that has changed now. Even since Kel and I got married 8 years ago. Our Methodist church is much more family-oriented, with activity bags for the kids to play with during services, a nursery that is no longer in the darkness of the classrooms downstairs but just around the corner from the Worship Hall itself, more child-friendly summer activities like summer "Vacation Bible Camp" where the kids get to do all kinds of neat things. This year they went to Egypt, made mosaics, did pottery, and met new friends.


Because of the drastic change in our church I figured we might as well get back into it.


We have two wonderful new ministers as well. Pastor Jill lets the kids go into her office and poke at her fishtank. Today she let Bubba and Pickles feed her fish.


Anywhoo, after church we went out for breakfast with my mother and my grandparents.This is where things get interesting.


My grandparents like to eat at Denny's. But then again which person over the age of 65 doesn't?


We sit down, the very nice yet very gruff waitress brings us our menus. The kids picked out the following:


Bubba ordered the Chocolate Chip Pancakes. These looked exactly like the menu picture. He was very happy.


Pickles decided on the Softball Pancake. The description and picture are thus:
"One softball-shaped pancake drizzled with raspberry sauce served with one slice of bacon and one sausage link."

This is what Pickles received:


It's gonna be a while before we hit up Denny's again...

I'z Gettin Mah Edyoomakashun!

Well I did it. I sent in my college application.

Yay me!!!

My friend Anni told me where to find small tinkling bell noises but I'm too lazy to do it right now.

Sadly my college experience will be nothing like my favorite movie.

I also put in my two week notice at work. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I've decided that I'm going to put my all into school.



So if anyone has a dog that needs walked or a toilet that needs to be scrubbed let me know. I'm available.

Oh, and wish me luck!

Thinking...

So I'm sitting here thinking.

I know. I smell smoke too.

There are too many things running through my head right now.

One is how much I hate my job.

I cannot work there any longer. It is against everything I believe in to do my job every day. I have a very hard time working for someone that feels no sympathy for "the little guy" just trying to make his way in this world.

I work for a company that sells maintenance supplies. Anything companies may need to make their business run, things like bin liners, cleaning chemicals, right down to the take-home containers you get when you visit some of our local restaurants. We do a ton of business in the NEW area.

My issue lies in my boss's thinking. He has no problem jacking prices up 40-60%. I have a very hard time charging some companies almost triple the price of what we paid for items. Sorry, but unlike most people, I have a conscience.

I also have a hard time being the only one that works in the office. This makes me everything from Customer Service to Accounts Receivable/Accounts Payable. I have little to no accounting background. I can do the basics no problem. My problem lies in when trying to give my boss an answer to a question, if I can't spell it out for him - literally - it's a huge problem to him. Put it this way - I had to type up a "how-to" sheet, complete with pictures, on how to use Facebook. Seriously.

The thing that really set me off recently is this. I totally understand that it's his company. He can do whatever he wants with his money. Recently he went to a local golf outing. He got too drunk to drive himself home. So he called a cab. To take him to another bar. Then when it was time to go home (for real this time) he called another cab. The next day he had me pay his cab fare with the company credit card and write it off as a "Travel Expense." Sorry, but that really REALLY bothers me. Just like how he pays the guy that mows his lawn at home with the company account and writes it off as "Building Maintenance." Our office is in an industrial park. We're surrounded by concrete....

So I've decided this.

My wonderful mother-in-law and I toured a new college in Green Bay (my mom already had plans or she would have been with us). I only say "new" because it's new to the Green Bay area. The college itself has been around for 125 years with locations in MN, SD, and now WI.

I loved it.

And I loved that my mother-in-law is so supportive in this. My entire family actually. So with their help and support I am going back to school.

I'll hopefully be starting in October in the Veterinary Technician Program. In two years (God willing!) I will have my BS in Veterinary Technology. Something that I have always been interested in. Unfortunately it was never offered in the Green Bay area until now. I'm very excited.

Now I just have to give my notice at work and find a job that will work around my schedule. I'm still in the beginning phases of everything, i.e., finding Financial Aid information, how the Hell I'm going to pay for college, possible "moms going back to school" loans/grants/scholarships, etc. So if anyone has any ideas or hints for me please let me know.

Oh, and wish me luck. I'll need all the support an encouragement I can get.

Unconventional Lullabies...

My bestest friend Nerma will be having her first baby in November. Because I'm such a fantastic "Auntie" I was making copies of my kids' favorite things to listen to for her as a gift.

Yes, I know she reads this, and yes, she already knows about them. It's not a surprise. :)

This made me sit down and think about all of the different things MY children listen to. I came to the conclusion that due to my music choices my children are very, VERY strange....

When Bubba was born my grandmother gave me a cd of lullabies. He LOVED them. He had to listen to his lullaby CD every night. We even made copies for his grandparents to keep at their houses. In fact, he listened to it so much that my mother-in-law bought him a new one because the old one was wearing out! Sadly when he turned 6 he decided he didn't need the lullaby cd anymore. I understood...sort of.

When Pickles came along we gave her a copy of the lullaby cd. She wasn't quite as impressed as Bubs was. Her music choice? "Baby Beatles." She still listens to it every night.

I have made Cletus the Fetus his own copy of both of these cds for his listening pleasure.

So not only do my children enjoy good old-fashioned lullaby music but they love The Beatles. Bubs begs to listen to "The White Album." Pickles is a big fan of Paul Revere and the Raiders. Especially "Kicks."

Pickles is into what she calls "girl rock stars." She even has her own words to Joan Jett. "I Hit Myself for Lovin' You" is one of her favorites.

We also listen to "The Nutcracker," "Carmen,"(the Muppet version of course) and "Phantom of the Opera."

Halloween brings out our Alice Cooper records - really. Records. I *ahem* borrowed them from my mom. Of course, the Muppets are watched yet again..

Alice is awesome. We got to meet him a couple of years ago.

At Christmas time we listen to the above-mentioned "Nutcracker" as well as my personal favorite, anything done by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

I have only myself to blame. I'm not a "Rock-a-bye-Baby" kind of person. If you know me (or if you've been following my blog) you know this.

When they were babies I sang them to sleep with my own versions of lullabies. At 6 months they were trying to sing along to Patsy Cline's "Walkin' After Midnight." Yes, I know it's a Country song, but as I'm typing this and making sure the link works Pickles came flying up yelling "HEY! THAT'S MY SONG!!!" Bubs agrees. "That's our bedtime song!"

They also know the words to KISS's "Beth," and "Hard Luck Woman," Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Ballad of Curtis Lowe," The Beatles "Blackbird." You name it, they probably know it.

This blog is already too long so now I'll compile a short list of my kids' "favorite" songs.

The Grass Roots - Midnight Confessions
The Grass Roots - Temptation Eyes
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
Violent Femmes - Blister in the Sun
Paul Simon - Kodachrome

And of course anything from the Cheap Trick "Live at Budokan" cd.

Then again, when I was two Santa brought me the John Cougar Mellencamp "American Fool" record...

So, my fellow webions....what "unconventional" lullabies or music do you let your kids listen to?

Grievuses, Pet Peevuses, and Mere Annoyances.

*Be warned. I'm crabby today.*

I'm considering adding my Wench Outfit to the daily rotation of comfy clothes I wear, considering my mood has been quite "Wenchy" lately.

I'm on the left. One Wench, Two Pirates...

I've come to the conclusion that I am the only one in my house capable of

a) Unloading/Reloading the Dishwasher

Really. I load the dishwasher as we use it, run it at night when we go to bed, then unload it in the morning before I go to work.

Same thing EVERY DAY.

Oh, I forgot to add that even though I do unload it before I go to work, leaving it virtually empty except for the dishes that either a) didn't fit the night before or 2) Kel used when he got home from work at the ass crack of dawn, no one else seems to be able to fill it.

I come home EVERY DAY to a kitchen full of dirty dishes, only to open the dishwasher to find it more or less empty and fill it myself even though I haven't used ANY of the dishes left on the counter. I'll say it again - EVERY DAY.

ii) Washing MachineYes, this is the exact same washing machine I have.

It has all kinds of neat buttons and settings on it and makes really cool beepy noises when you turn it on and make your clothing scrubbing selection.

Sadly this appears to be another machine only the Lady of the House knows how to operate.

Apparently everyone else thinks the clothes just jump in there themselves. Oh, then they make their way to the...

IV) Dryer

Yes, this is the same dryer I have. Much like its twin, the Washing Machine, it makes fun sounds when you push the buttons.

After having these fine pieces of machinery for almost 8 years now it has become apparent to me that the rest of the beings in my home have yet to figure out that c) the clothes don't magically float from the washer to the dryer and ff) the clothes don't magically leave the dryer, hover up the basement stairs, fold themselves and make their way into the dresser drawers.

Maybe someday I'll come home to a house that hasn't blowed up, with all the clothes nicely folded, or better yet, PUT AWAY!

Hey, a girl can dream, right?

Grrr.