The Ballad of Nick da Fish, a.k.a., Bribe Fish

**THIS IS A LONG POST. I APOLOGIZE…**

When Bubba was in the beginning stages of potty training, Kel and I sat down and discussed a "rewards" program. We gave him the option of either a sticker or an m&m when he went potty, with one reward for, well no. 1 and two for no. 2. He chose stickers. We also did the “Potty Passport” program. We had a potty chart on the back of the bathroom door as well as the official “Potty Passport” booklet that he got to fill in every time he went to the bathroom. The passport had a spot in the back for the BIG REWARD when all of the other pages were filled in. This worked wonderfully as Bub is so hands-on with things like this. His BIG REWARD we decided was a fish. Something he could help us take care of and feel like it really was his own. We did have one stipulation though. If he decided he was not going to use the potty and use his new Thomas the Train undies as the bathroom, fishy would have to go back to the store.

So when he had filled in his passport and his chart it was off to the Wal-Marts to get a fish. Nick I was a very pretty light pink, blue and peach Betta. On our way home from the Wal-Marts we asked our then 3-year old son what he was going to name his new fish. We figured that even though the Bubster is pretty creative that he’d name it something like any other typical 3-year old would name a fish, something like Fishy, or Swimmy, but no. He named him Nick. Thus, Nick da Fish, a.k.a Bribe Fish, was born.

Nick I was purchased around Easter of 2006. Pickles was still a wee Baby Dill (Milwaukee Pickle reference to those who don’t have access to Milwaukee Pickles, which I feel are MUCH better than all other pickles) so we didn’t have to worry about her begging for a fish of her own. That summer my brother came home from Afghanistan on leave and stopped by for a visit. Bubba was very excited to show off Nick I and Brother, a.k.a. Uncle, was more than happy to see him. After the Bub bounced off to play Uncle looked at me and said “There’s something wrong with Nick.” I ran over to the tank just in time to see Nick take his last gulp of water. The next thing that ran through my mind was OHMYGODBRIBEFISHISDEAD! Thank God that Uncle was there and came up with a great plan. “I’ll run to the Wal-Marts and get a new fish while you keep him occupied. When I get back I’ll take him outside and you make the switch. He’ll never know.” I thought this was brilliant.

So Uncle takes off to the Wal-Marts and Bub and I continue with our afternoon. Uncle comes back with Nick II (which to Bub is still Nick I) and takes Bub outside to play on the swingset. I rush to the truck to grab Nick II only to find, with both shock and dismay, that Uncle apparently forgot that Nick I was a beautiful light pink, blue and peach Betta. In my hands I held a bag with a Betta, but this one is dark (almost blood) red and royal blue. The EXACT OPPOSITE coloring of what Nick I was. So now I stand there thinking FANTASTIC! How the flock is this going to work?!?

I made the switch anyway. Bub comes in and plays with Uncle for the afternoon. That evening, while skipping through the kitchen he notices that Nick I doesn’t look quite right. “Mommy, why is Nick a different color?” I blurted out the only thing I could think of at that millisecond of time. “Well Bub, sometimes in the summer, when their water gets warmer, some fish change colors. It’s summertime now so maybe he decided that it’s time he changed his color.” Bubba’s response? “Oh. Like a chameleon? I get it!” Off he skips, just glad he has a fish.

Fast forward to 2009. Shortly after the beginning of the school year we noticed that Nick I (really, Nick II) was starting to be more lethargic. How we noticed a lethargic fish is beyond me because every fish I’ve ever seen is just plain fricken’ lazy… Anywho, we decided to let nature take its course and talked to Bubba about how Nick was just getting old, and that most fish don’t usually live that long and that he was very well loved and taken care of. Actually we’re amazed that he really did last that long. Poor Nick was pushed off the kitchen table 3 times by the two stupid cats, and two of the three times the vase he was in shattered. Bubba understood this as my great-grandmother, which I was very very close to, passed away in April of 2008. He decided that Nick was up in Heaven with great-great grandma. So off to the pet store we go.

This time we headed to PetCo. Pickles had by now gotten her own bribe fish from PetSmart but there was a Packer game, and you don’t go anywhere near the stadium on the day of a football game. Sadly, PetSmart is near the stadium. Bubba picked out another dark red and blue Betta and named him Nick II, which was really Nick III, but again, he doesn’t need to know that. Kel and I called him Nick Too…So we picked up Nick II, brought him home, and admired him. He had a nice home in a beautiful tank next to his friend Nemo, which is what Pickles named her bribe fish. Obviously a typical 3-year old chosen name for a fish.

So Saturday Bubba comes in from playing outside only to notice that Nick Too isn’t doing so hot. In fact, he’s floating sideways on the top of the water. Once in a while he tried to dive to the bottom only to shoot right back up to the top. I had just changed the water in both tanks and Nemo was just fine, so it wasn’t something I did. I used the same water for both of them; we keep a gallon jug full just for the fish so it’s always at room temperature. We figured Nick Too was on his way to fishy heaven so we again let nature take its course. Sunday it was off to the PetSmart to get a new Nick.

We got home with Nick III and left him in his little container to bring his water up to room temperature. Yes, Nick III is dark red and blue, just like the previous Nicks. I took Nick Too out of the tank to clean it for Nick III and put him in a vase on the kitchen table to pass away peacefully. He was pretty lifeless last night so I figured by this morning he’d be belly-up, but wouldn’t you know it, the little bastard is fine now! So now we have Nemo, Nick II, and Nick III all alive and doing fine. Prick. Bubba told me that I can have Nick II and that I should give him a new name. I figured sure, I’ll keep him until he goes belly-up. Now to think of a name for my fishy…