Hey there Little Red Riding Hood...

Today, friends, we shall discuss the topic of irrational fears.

ir·ra·tion·al –adjective

1. without the faculty of reason; deprived of reason.
2. without or deprived of normal mental clarity or sound judgement.
3. not in accordance with reason; utterly illogical: irrational arguments.

4. not endowed with the faculty of reason: irrational animals.

fear
-noun

1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

2. a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.

3. concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.

4. reverential awe, esp. toward God.

5. that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear.

Therefore, irrational fear would be "to be afraid of really, REALLY dumb things." I myself have my own bizarre irrational fears. My friends and family will totally agree with me on these.

1) Thunderstorms. Ok, so a lot of people are afraid of thunderstorms. It's not like I go running for the basement at the mere thought of lightening. I do, however, talk alot more when I'm nervous or scared. I know, hard to believe, but yes. ALOT MORE. I also close all of the blinds in the entire house to the outside world, turn on all the lights (so I don't see the lightening) and crank my stereo up to ELEVEN, Spinal Tap-style.


I also have a tendency to duck every lightening flashes and thunder booms. Something which my father constantly reminds me is pretty much useless, as my height - 5'1" tall - will never EVER allow me to be the tallest thing in an area. Ever.

2) Clowns

When I was 3 my mother decided to take me to the circus. Keep in mind this was not your usual run-of-the-mill traveling circus. This was the ghetto version of Barnum & Bailey's traveling show. A couple of ponies, rides that didn't really work, creepy carnies, and of course CLOWNS.

Horrible, horrible clowns.

Considering I was only 3 when it happened, my memory is foggy at best (shut up. Lots of people have foggy memories...)

I remember a clown following us all over the Brown County fairgrounds. This clown finally decided "Oh! It's time to pick on the wee lass!" and started chasing me. I tried to hide behind my mom but this God-awful piece of shit clown wouldn't leave me alone! My mom yelled at Asshole the Clown to leave me alone, but he decided picking on the wee midget was more fun. My mother picked me up, pretty much told the clown to F*&K OFF and took me home.

This is why you never accept free tickets to the circus.

To this day I have an issue with clowns. I LOVE Stephen King, but the only movie I have never seen in it's entirety (because I had my eyes closed) is "It." When we moved into our house in 2001, for our first Halloween in the neighborhood my friend and neighbor Yori walked up the driveway with a big bag of candy when I got home from work, at 5:30 p.m., in the dark, dressed like a clown. We have a good laugh every time she tells the story about the look on my face when I got out of my car.

I hates me some clowns.

3) Refrigerated Biscuits

Ok, now that you've stopped laughing, hear me out. Refrigerator biscuits are SCARY, YO!

You gotta peel the tube and pray to God the little "POP" happens, because Heaven help you if it doesn't and you have to bang the damn thing on the counter to get it to open.

My friend T thinks this is hysterical. Especially since I hid on the other side of the counter when she opened hers.

My kids love cinnamon rolls and since those are the one things I refuse to make from scratch it's a treat when I buy the canned ones. Until I have to open them. Then it's a treat for my family to watch me run and hide around the corner while someone (usually Kel) opens the damn thing. Or chases me down the hall with it.

Either way they suck.

Both the biscuits and my family.

And today my blog does too since it keeps changing the font color and spacing.

So tell me friends. Any irrational fears of your own you'd like to share?

Please? So I don't feel all alone in this here blog?